You're Beautiful
by YamixYugiforever
Summary: JadenSyrus songfic Jaden knows he can never be with Syrus ANGST AND CHARACTER DEATH WARNING!


You're Beautiful

Rated: M

Pairing: one-sided Jaden/Syrus Syrus/Alexis' friend

Summary: And angsty song-fic: Jaden listens to a song that is close to his heart

Disclaimer:...Roses are red; Snot is green; I don't own Gx; so don't be mean ( XD I don't own the disclaimer either) oh and I don't own the song "You're Beautiful" by James Blunt either.

Warning: ANGST! and shonen ai

A/N: Thought of this in the morning while I felt sick ...

He sighed. His strode down to his desk was labored and he seemed to drag his body to the old oak desk. His lips were curved into a sad smile. His brilliant brown eyes reflected sorrow, yet a flicker of happiness. He pulled out the plastic chair that was sitting near the wall of the desk, and quickly grabbed the CD player that was sitting on it.

'Jaden, Jaden, Jaden, why are you so depressed? If Syrus is happy then you should be happy too!' he told himself. Jaden sat backwards on the chair, and had his legs propped up on the back support. He slowly pulled his head back, bringing with it his soft brown hair. His head lay down upon the shaggy carpet. He lay the CD player carefully by the side of his head and turned it on. He took the earphones and placed them to his ears.

He waited patiently for the first song to begin, his now favorite song. It was very close to his heart. He heard the quite playing of the guitar and smiled. It was sad, yet relaxing. He let the song play in his mind.

_My life is brilliant.  
My love is pure_

His love was indeed pure.

He loved his little Syrus. The little light-blue haired boy. He loved the way he smiled and looked so very child-like when he did so. His big golden eyes would shine and sparkle when he smiled. Syrus also had a habit of fiddling with his glasses when he was happy or relieved. Those glasses made his eyes look even bigger.

Jaden smile began to fade into a frown. His thoughts turned dark when a vision of Syrus and a black haired girl holding hands and giggling.

He glared at the ceiling, wishing a slow and painful death upon the girl. He knew that girl was a slut, having a crush on every boy that was at the Duelist Academy. Jaden wished to punch something to take his anger out, but punching the air wasn't very useful.

That girl would probably use him, then dump him, and break his fragile heart. Jaden knew he would never break Syrus' heart. He knew that girl didn't deserve Syrus, but neither did he.

_I saw an angel.  
Of that I'm sure_.

' I don't deserve an angel's love,' he sighed, 'Syrus needs better.' His lips quivered, but he held back the tears that were slowly forming in his eyes. he wasn't allowed to cry. Why should he cry if Syrus was happy! ' He's happy Jaden! He's happy without you!'

A tear ran down his cheek, the thought of Syrus being happy without him was too much for the teen. Jaden knew that Syrus needed someone who could dull the pain that he carried with him everyday. He couldn't do that. He almost ran away because of him. That day when Syrus was about to leave the Academy was the day his soul was wounded. He wasn't enough for the boy. He wasn't enough reason to stay on the island.

He bit his bottom lip trying to hold in a sob that was trying to escape.

_She smiled at me on the subway.  
She was with another man.  
_

' But the sad part is,' he inwardly laughed, ' he doesn't notice my pain, he doesn't know when he smiles and he's with _her_ I feel like I want to die!'

He let a sob escape him. More tears ran down his cheeks and collected at his shoulders. His life seemed to be over, but that was the purpose for the next part of the song.

_But I won't lose no sleep on that,  
'Cause I've got a plan.  
_

Yes he had a plan to make Syrus finally notice him. It was ingraved in his head, and nothing could change his mind. He told some of his closest friends what he would do. Many of them tried to ignore him, merely thinking it was just his mood. Depression had an effect on people, and his depression wouldn't last for very long. Ignore him and it will all go away.

Others that actually cared about Jaden's well-being told him that if he went through with this...all of them went through a moment of silence. A lot of them said that he needed to get help. He didn't need any "help" he was just fine. Fine for a guy who was so madly in love with someone, it tore at their very soul. The pain that no one, but the lovers alone without love would ever experience. His heart was beyond broken, but it didn't pain him. In fact it was a black void, a numb void.

The one person he didn't tell was Syrus.

It would hurt Syrus to know that he caused Jaden's depression, his suicidle depression.

_You're beautiful. You're beautiful_.

'Syrus is beuatiful'

_You're beautiful, it's true_.

'But your girlfriend will never tell you the truth, that's something only I can do'

_I saw you face in a crowded place,_

' Don't you notice my pain? The hurt you cause by just looking at me?'

_And I don't know what to do,  
_' But now I figured out what I can do to make the hurt go away Syrus.'

_'Cause I'll never be with you._

' I'll die for you Syrus, because I know your much happier without me'

_Yeah, she caught my eye,  
As we walked on by.  
_

Syrus wasn't an idiot though, he knew that Jaden was in pain. He just didn't know what was causing it. Syrus tried to talk to Jaden, but all he got was an apology. Jaden did that a lot lately, he apologized. He apologized for things that were so minor that Syrus didn't notice. Things that he had done so long ago it was well forgotten. But Jaden never forgot about losing Syrus' pencil, or taking one of his cards, or snoring so loudly it was hard for him to get sleep, ot complaining about him in anyway, or...it just went on and on.

_She could see from my face that I was,  
Fucking high,  
_

' Syrus is concerned about me,' he thought bitterly, ' I shouldn't have been out at the beach crying like that.'

_And I don't think that I'll see her again,  
But we shared a moment that will last till the end_

Jaden smiled, 'But it was nice that he held me like that.'

The memory was bittersweet. It happened only a few minutes ago. Syrus held him and petted his hair. He whispered soft words of comfort. 'Syrus needs to get a kid, he'd make a good perant.'

This wasn't what saddened Jadent though, it was the fact that it would be the last time he could see Syrus. He was happy though, that it could be like that. It could be that Syrus did care about him, as a friend. Only as a friend. 'He's to beautiful for me.'

_Chorus_

_There must be an angel with a smile on her face,  
When she thought up that I should be with you.  
_

Jaden decided to turn off the CD player, although the words kept playing in his mind. He rolled over off the chair, his body landing with a thump, and looked for the pair of scissors on the desk. he smiled picking up the sharp object. It was clean, he could see his tear stained face on the metal.

His smile faded when he placed the scissors on the upper part of his wrist.

_But it's time to face the truth,  
_

" Good bye, Syrus." Jaden whispered, " My love."

_I will never be with you._

A/N: I know it's short but I wanted to finsih this quickly since I have to go to the doctor in a couple ..MINUTES! Aww see yah!


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